YOU CANNOT HEAL THAT WHICH YOU DO NOT LOOK AT
Given that the natural way for the habitual mind-body to go is to avoid pain and seek pleasure, that keeps one locked into a limited cycle of seeking and avoidance, subtle as those patterns may be. You will constantly seek to do things that make you feel good (/ avoid feelings of ‘bad’) eg. TV, alcohol, chocolate, acute busyness etc. The propagation of these behaviours is generally the result of the ‘pain-body’ (as Eckart Tolle calls it) inside us.
The pain-body itself is an unconscious mass of unprocessed, unexpressed emotions, landlocked within us from an early age where either an event was ‘too much’ for the young mind, or we were not allowed to give full expression to things like hurt, frustration, anger as it would trigger the pain-body in our care-givers, who in turn would react unfavourably toward us. A ‘stiff upper lip’ comes about from the straitjacket of repressed ‘negative’ emotions. A narrow-band of emotions are our resulting phenotype.
As negative emotions are repressed, more and more pain is held onto. Until it cannot be held anymore. Then it is provoked in singular instances that feel so irrational to the one we are raging at. It is not them we are raging at after all but at a shadow aspect of our past.
The substrata feelings are the ones we are avoiding. The sewer system that runs subterraneously carrying our ‘stuff’ but with nowhere to go. Undercurrents that subtly bias our every move, give us our skewed vantage points. When was the last time for example you were completely without fear, without doubt? And to what extent does fear and doubt guide your every move?
These unwanted feelings are you too. They are not to be afraid of. It is in their withholding, in their suppressing that gives the impression of fear. Fear comes from not knowing, from ‘ignorance’, from ‘the dark’, so when we gently, politely allow these feelings in to be seen in the light of day, we realise they too are gentle. Just need to be allowed back into the fray.
Undercurrents of pain are very subtle, and the ego takes great care for us not to look at them lest we resolve them, putting the ego out of business. The ego part of us is predicated upon misery, lament and judgment, without which it would simply cease to be. It has us think that those things ARE actually us, that subtle angst is the very fabric of who we are. Not so. It is just the fabric of the ego-self.
When we meditate on the Greater Truths of Who We Are beyond the ego (eg. that we are eternal Divine Light, Perfect Love etc) that which is not yet experienced as That will come up to be seen and felt and allowed to melt into the Light. So when we take for example a lesson from ACIM “The Holy Christ Is Born In Me Today” (Lesson 303) and say that to ourselves, you may notice that the ‘dark’ (that which has not yet been welcomed to the Light) will be felt. It may be initially uncomfortable. This is good. Let it in. This is your chance to feel it and allow it into the open embrace of Divine Awareness. Decades of submerged substrata finally allowed to be seen and healed.
Imagine a life free of fear. It is not so far away.